I follow a lot of women who write about pain, trauma, shame, depression, suicide, addiction. These things are important to me to learn about, read about, work through in my own life. These writers and a great therapist help me understand my family of origin’s behaviors and traumas – spoken and unspoken. My toxic family is a topic I’ve been thrust into facing and dealing with recently. What I’ve noticed is, very few who write about these things, write about them while going through them. We get the happy after effect of how they got through something.

And that makes sense for some writers – dealing with deeply harmful situations takes time to process. Psychologically, many people aren’t ready to talk about an experience while it’s happening or immediately afterward. And some advise to write for yourself first then post things later – after you’ve processed the situation.

And then there’s this narrative some of us believe: if we talk about, write about, share our experiences while they’re happening we will be seen as weak compared to the triumphant overcomer of pain we want to present to the world.

Those in the thick of it are the women I want to read more of. The women who might not have gotten out of bed yesterday so they wrote through it instead. So I’ll be one of them; posting occasionally about all of the above for myself and anyone else who wants a peek inside one person’s before picture of mental health.