If i had, I wouldn’t have been killed. I would have been dismissed. I would have gone back. I would have embarrassed him and would have paid a dear price.

But I wouldn’t have been killed, and unless he was very convincing, I would not have been arrested.

For too many domestic abuse victims, the reality is; they are doubly victimized by a shitty system that assumes they are suspect. Of something usually unrelated to their call for help with being abused. “In a 2015 survey by the National Domestic Violence Hotline, Eighty percent of the participants in the 2015 hotline survey who had called police were afraid that if they called again in the future, officers would not believe them or wouldn’t do anything about the violence, the survey reported. A majority of the participants feared that calling law enforcement would make the situation worse, resulting in a slap on the wrist for the abuser and potential negative consequences for the victim.” According to USA Today.

And as we see played out in the news over and over, a victim’s credibility is often questioned if they didn’t call police.
The reality is, domestic abuse victims’ safety gets tossed aside and their legitimate fear of arrest, if they have any record, or history of drug abuse or sex work, takes the focus off the violence and places it squarely on their shoulders. Indigenous women, abuse victims of color, frequently face an additional default to racism by law enforcement. The out of control abuses by ICE & border control keep illegal immigrant dv victims from reporting. The real fear of losing custody, a job or their home are roadblocks to safety.

If you need help call the national domestic abuse hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

#domesticviolence #health #toxicrelationshops #recovery #abuse #rainn #thehotline

The full series is here:

  1. DV A Series
  2. Trust Your Gut
  3. DV Is Common
  4. How Could You Put Up With That?
  5. Why didn’t you tell anyone?
  6. What did you do?
  7. You stayed so long, it couldn’t have been that bad
  8. Why are you playing the victim?
  9. Why can’t you just get over it?
  10. Why didn’t you call the police?
  11. Bruises fade. The impact of DV lasts for decades
  12. How to help someone heal after Domestic Violence
  13. DV, a leading cause of homelessness
  14. Why does it all still bother you? (Flipping the question | Ask the right questions)
  15. Why can’t you let your anger go? (Flipping the question | Ask the right questions)
  16. How could you put up with that? (Flipping the question | Ask the right questions)
  17. Why didn’t you tell anyone? (Flipping the question | Ask the right questions)
  18. You stayed so long it couldn’t have been that bad (Flipping the question | Ask the right questions)
  19. Why are you playing the victim? (Flipping the question | Ask the right questions)
  20. Why can’t you just get over it? (Flipping the question | Ask the right questions)
  21. Why didn’t you call the police? (Flipping the question | Ask the right questions)