Because the impact of dv doesn’t magically disappear when you leave. Dv survivors need access to mental & physical care and can’t always get it right away.

When someone would tell me to get over it I could get pretty snippy, and still do (putting it mildly). The trauma my mind and body was subjected to needed healing. When I left, the course of my life was uncertain and my immediate concerns were job, kids, food, the thousands of other things it takes to (barely) maintain life. Therapy was not a priority, and frankly it didn’t come into my life until years later when things were manageable and I was still struggling from undiagnosed cptsd.

There’s a truth to the maslow theory in the lives of domestic violence survivors that gets ignored and sometimes doesn’t get past the second tier of safety needs for a very very long time. Humans are complex in the best of situations. Toss a bomb onto a life like dv, sexual assault, murder, death of a child and that complexity deepens into a tangled mass of trauma each and every one of us deals with, in our own way.

Be patient. Give them a thousand chances to talk to you. Yes, it’s tiring. They’re tired too.
#mentalhealth #cptsd #health #domesticviolence

You can find my whole series on Domestic Violence here.