Because the impact of dv doesn’t magically disappear when you leave. Dv survivors need access to mental & physical care and can’t always get it right away.

When someone would tell me to get over it I could get pretty snippy, and still do (putting it mildly). The trauma my mind and body was subjected to needed healing. When I left, the course of my life was uncertain and my immediate concerns were job, kids, food, the thousands of other things it takes to (barely) maintain life. Therapy was not a priority, and frankly it didn’t come into my life until years later when things were manageable and I was still struggling from undiagnosed cptsd.

There’s a truth to the maslow theory in the lives of domestic violence survivors that gets ignored and sometimes doesn’t get past the second tier of safety needs for a very very long time. Humans are complex in the best of situations. Toss a bomb onto a life like dv, sexual assault, murder, death of a child and that complexity deepens into a tangled mass of trauma each and every one of us deals with, in our own way.

Be patient. Give them a thousand chances to talk to you. Yes, it’s tiring. They’re tired too.
#mentalhealth #cptsd #health #domesticviolence

The full series is here:

  1. DV A Series
  2. Trust Your Gut
  3. DV Is Common
  4. How Could You Put Up With That?
  5. Why didn’t you tell anyone?
  6. What did you do?
  7. You stayed so long, it couldn’t have been that bad
  8. Why are you playing the victim?
  9. Why can’t you just get over it?
  10. Why didn’t you call the police?
  11. Bruises fade. The impact of DV lasts for decades
  12. How to help someone heal after Domestic Violence
  13. DV, a leading cause of homelessness
  14. Why does it all still bother you? (Flipping the question | Ask the right questions)
  15. Why can’t you let your anger go? (Flipping the question | Ask the right questions)
  16. How could you put up with that? (Flipping the question | Ask the right questions)
  17. Why didn’t you tell anyone? (Flipping the question | Ask the right questions)
  18. You stayed so long it couldn’t have been that bad (Flipping the question | Ask the right questions)
  19. Why are you playing the victim? (Flipping the question | Ask the right questions)
  20. Why can’t you just get over it? (Flipping the question | Ask the right questions)
  21. Why didn’t you call the police? (Flipping the question | Ask the right questions)